Shout out to the sluts

I was driving through some shady parts of town one day and I saw a prostitute and her customer. Awkward. Then I realized, shit. In a way I see this all the time going on at my school. Only the ones here don't charge anything.

I thought about how it must feel like to be a whore. Honestly I can't imagine it. My conscience (and my disgust) get in the way. It actually is a difficult and dangerous job. Having to deal with the threat of possible STDs, being able to hide your emotions, being able to deal with bitches who say mean things about you behind your back...

It seriously is amazing how apathetic you must be. You can't exactly develop any feelings for the guy you just had sex with. Because if you did, then I guess you wouldn't be very good at your job.

Damn. Here's to you sluts. I didn't realize how hard it was to be one of you.

"Tits out, pants down"

I thank Metric for that vulgar quote that is my title. Although how disgusting it sounds, it's actually very truthful in regards to female college students who are known to be wearing less and less each day.

Are you aware that 16th century women wore 6x more cloth in their UNDERWEAR than girls today wear as outfits to school?

Perhaps some will say this rant stems from jealousy due to the fact that I am barely three dimensional, but the truth is it has nothing to do with wishing I were bigger in certain areas. In fact I am perfectly content with my current size, although that is not the point of this blog.

Modesty is a trait that all humans should possess. When presenting yourself to the public, if you are walking around in skirts that look like tubetops and shirts that are about the same size of material as it takes to make a bandana, perhaps you should reevaluate your lifestyle.

Perhaps you will get boys to like you, but not for the right reasons.

Honestly, I think it all stems from insecurity and a feeling to feel accepted.

You don't have to do it like this.

Stop dressing like a slut. Show some respect for yourself.

Feel Accepted! Only $500 a semester

Sororities.


Who the %!&* would create such a ridiculous concept.

I believe this truly is the most baffling and puzzling notion ever invented.


A sorority is basically a clique of 40+ insecure girls who feel the need to be accepted in college. Whether their motive is for friends, "community service" (you lying sack of shit), something to add on that job application, and/or to meet super hot frat boys (is that possible...?), every single girl who is in a sorority all has a major character flaw and this is more than likely insecurity.

Sororities bring about unwanted drama. Whether one of your "sisters" slept with that frat guy you met when you were half wasted at some party, or if you are voting in new girls during recruitment (b/c you know... you can't let just ANYONE into your sacred society), drama will always be present.


Sorority girls have a tendency to fall in love with their appearance. I do not know a single one that does not spend less than 30 minutes before they leave for class. After all, you can't be walking around campus looking like a hoodlum with your letters on. God Forbid.

Their dependency on each other surpasses that of a blind woman and her guide dog. No one can do anything without the approval of their peers. This includes what job they are allowed to take, what/who they're seen with, where they go, how they act, etc. etc. etc. etc. Basically you are living someone else's life. Very interesting.



Clan gatherings, I meant, meetings, formals, bars, clubs, parties, ___________...

no wonder your grades are so f-ing low.

You pride yourself on your love for helping the community, yet the truth is, it is all for the sake of reputation.


I can do f-ing community service with my church... and I don't have to pay a cent for that.


I'm sorry to all the sorority girls who read this. No really, I apologize. In all honesty I should be applauding you. I mean after all, you're brave enough to waste your money all for... well nothing really. Nothing that I can't do for free that is.

Faker than my ex-roommate's hair

The average human will flock to compliments. They want to be regarded as a person who people are envious of whether it is for their talent, looks, popularity, etc. That is basically our goals in life whether we are conscious of it or not. The whole point of being put on this earth was to make a difference. WRONG. The whole point of being alive in the first place is to be "successful" and in turn prove to others that you are better than them.

This is not an alarming fact.

Girls are vicious.

Not surprising.

However, why do girls rip each other apart? Whether it's their appearance, their attitude, their slutiness, etc. They will be nice to them in their face (OMG, I love you so much!!! I can't wait to see you again, it better be soon!), and then only to say the most hurtful things once that person is gone (OMG did you see what she was wearing? She's like the ugliest person ever.)

What baffles me even more is how girls who are honest (You really don't look right with that shirt on) are seen as bitches who don't know what they're talking about.

So my puzzling thought of the day is why would we rather be lied to than told the truth?

Interesting.

Computer Incompetence

I have noticed that everyone who enters usually goes on a computer that has a blue screen up. I am not quite sure why this is. Perhaps they are afraid that if they go to a computer that has a black screen, that it is either a) not functioning, or b) not for them to use.

It is probably the same reason why people always only go through one door, regardless of the fact that there is a door right next to the one that everyone is using to enter or exit.

Human behavior is disgusting and still rather a mystery to me.

Some of the questions I receive on a daily basis are quite... amusing. I find it difficult to keep a straight face sometimes. However, I don't even bother to hold it in when someone is standing at the printer confused for 10 minutes and no paper has come out. I'm here for a reason kids! To prove that your stupidity once again has gotten the best of you. Of course, I am not complaining. It just means I get paid to sit and watch while you amuse me. I wonder if it is the fact that I appear to be unapproachable. I do not understand how this can be possible though. I am a rather friendly looking asian if I do say so myself. (Note: I did not say I was a friendly asian.) I smile occasionally and I like to skip around when I load paper in the trays.

Actually now that I think about it, I am rather offended that people avoid me and ask the other consultants for help. Of course, once this changes, I am sure I will shut up and stop complaining. Although I am not sure how this is possible either.

Hello Chain Rule

I have decided that I am going to learn the Dirty Dancing (Now I've.... had the TIME OF MY LIFE...) dance before I graduate from college.

Of course, luckily for me, I will probably be stuck in college for at least another 5 or 6 years, which gives me an adequate amount of time to learn it.


I have also decided that calculus is my friend, but algebra is my enemy. I do not see why we are required to solve word problems about velocity, speed, and/or how many cookies Gertrude sells and how much profit she makes. Completely worthless. Life is pretty much one big word problem anyway. F this shiz.


I am chewing on this piece of gum rather furiously and for that I feel bad. This Extra Polar Ice stick was created for the sole purpose of me to destroy it and slather it in my saliva. Then it would be spit out and expelled onto the sidewalk where it will be stepped on or run over and then lose its color, becoming an insignificant blob plastered forever onto a scorching piece of tar. So next time your life is bad, think about if you were a piece of gum.

Massive... ache... of head....

I am learning about disposable income (DI). There are 42 people in this computer lab (not counting the asians/latinos standing and socializing. I think I am about to die.

Or fall asleep.

Whichever comes first.

I've noticed right now everything seems to irritate me.

I saw a squirrel today digging up a hole in the ground. I am unsure as to whether it was burying a nut, or just rediscovering it. My guess is that he was burying it. I had a strong urge to kick it because it looked at me funny.

I think something is wrong.

My bedtime needs to change.